Melissa? Yeah, she’s alright. She gets things done and she doesn’t ask questions, which I respect. One time I needed a part for the boiler; next morning, it was there. No receipt, no explanation. That’s my kind of efficiency. She’s got that South Philly survival instinct: tough, mysterious, possibly connected. I don’t ask, she doesn’t tell. It works.

Melissa is... an experience. She talks like every conversation’s a negotiation, but deep down, she’s one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met. I’ll be giving some long-winded metaphor about education reform, and she’ll just say, ‘Kid, teach the lesson.’ Honestly? She keeps me grounded and slightly terrified.

Melissa? Oh, she’s my favorite type of coworker, the kind who can ‘handle things’ without paperwork. If Abbott ever gets shut down, I’m calling her first. She’s basically the school’s unofficial security, maintenance, and catering department all in one.